Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Coming in out of the cold
Travelling to another country, rehearsing in unfamiliar spaces, participating in a new creation, ploughing through the cold cold wind. In my innocence I never realised that performing life and cultural outreach is a much huger world outside the work I've known in Singapore.
This is pretty much my first full time production - daily rehearsals in an isolated space, living day in day out with the same collaborators, touring in our choreographer's beat-up little car. Minus so many of the daily distractions - other technique classes, part time jobs to pay the bills, additional projects, social life - that fill the air when I am working at home. Instead I am really dancing day to night - with preparations focused on a single project instead of the scattered repertoire as I knew it in school.
This degree of concentration is a luxury as well as a challenge. We have three weeks to go to the premiere of Focus by Kham Company at les Hivernales dance festival in Avignon. Some days I can hardly believe my luck to be here - and on other days I wonder if he chose the right dancer and if I'm actually up to this. If I can grow enough in these six weeks so that I'm not wasting all these fantastic facilities and arrangements where everything is taken care of.
Monday, 26 December 2011
2011 - My year in art
This year has been PACKED with good stuff. I think I'll have much to digest for 2012.
Here it is, in mostly chronological rather than any other order!
Here it is, in mostly chronological rather than any other order!
- Model Citizens, a play by the Necessary Stage (Jan)
- Getting burned by Louise Burns during my modern dance exam - well I needed to start asking myself at some point what kind of artist I am... (Jan)
- Learning to lenggang and ronggeng with Mdm Som Said (Jan-May)
- Dancing Peter Chin's Syncretitude (May)
- Dancing Albert Tiong's Checkmate (May)
- A dinner at Nahm, Bangkok (May)
- Lunch at Iggy's (May)
- Dancing in The Hungry Stones by Raka Maitra (May)
- SAF (May/June) Out of Context - for Pina, les ballets C de la B and Beautiful Thing 2, Padmini Chettur
- The Screw of Thought workshop at Theatreworks (Jun)
- A chance meeting with French choreographer Ole Khamchanla - little did I know what was to come, watch this space for 2012 updates... (Jun)
- Teaching in the Singapore Schools Programme by TTRP/ITI - Grateful for some crazy adventures and experiments at RGPS and CHIJ-St Joseph's Convent (Jun-Jul)
- Contact Improv Festival Kuala Lumpur (Jul)
- My first Capoeira Batisado with Argola d'Ouro (Jul)
- Cooling Off Day, a play by Wild Rice/Alfian Sa'at (Aug)
- Pina, THE dance film of the year, by Wim Wenders (Sep during the Singapore International Film Festival)
- Fear of Writing, a play at Theatreworks written by Tan Tarn How (Sep)
- Creating PLAY! - a wacky-thoughtful dance/performance experiment with Joavien Ng, Yak Aik Wee, Patricia Toh and Bernice Lee at the ArtScience Museum (Oct)
- My first solo dance work out of school - The Always Sea (Oct)
- Being a part of the FangMaeKhong International Dance Festival in Laos (Oct)
- Performing at and watching the 2High festival at the Brisbane Power House (Oct)
- An exhibition of Henri Cartier-Bresson at the Gallery of Art, Brisbane (Oct)
- Dust: A recollection by Vertical Submarine (Nov)
- Some introspective conversations with Singapore choreographer Nirmala Seshadri - watch this space. :) (Nov-Dec)
- T.H.E Contact dance festival - as a volunteer and a participant, and a witness to many amazing performances (Dec)
- Presenting my first live improv score at THE Contact's Open Stage platform with Chen Jiexiao and Sherry Tay! (Dec)
- Walk with Me - an Amanda Heng retrospective at the Singapore Art Museum (Dec)
- Wicked at the Marina Bay Sands Theatre - I haven't enjoyed a well-crafted musical so much since West Side Story! (Dec)
Sunday, 6 November 2011
"Do not fear perfection. You will never achieve it"
- Salvador Dali
Friday, 4 November 2011
The best premiere
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First tech run, Thakhek. Photo by Caroline Cochet. |
I declare now that I fell in love with Laos last month. There will be some sentimental raving.
I am indebted to four squirming tots in a disused motel restaurant in Thakek. Who watched my first dress run of the Always Sea in Fang Mae Khong (FMK). They sat transfixed through all 20 minutes of languid soundscape and strange sitting and falling and object collection. Also the horde of tweens at the actual first show who were so weirded out that they actually ran away from me as I exited through the audience.
What a pleasure to have fresh eyes. An audience that you can amaze and touch.
These were people who have never seen any dance in their lives save for a bit of breakdancing. Part of me wishes I could see as they do, and see for the first time the ambitious mixed bag put together by Ole Khamchanla and his FMK team. The Vientiane-based Laobangfai b-boy crew (virtual teen celebs here) were the draw and local street dance crews opened the show. I wouldn't have bet that this audience would sit through it all - Lao dancers reinventing tradition and hip hop through contemporary dance, meditative contemporary Indian dance, Cambodian classical-meets club groove, clowning on Jacques Brel, Myanmar classicial dance battles b-boy, contemp hip-hop, stripped down experimental contemp, and my own weird installation performance thing. (See here for more info about the festival). And watch they did, in three towns.
I can still feel the press of the last audience we played to, in the cool night below the bemused gaze of President Souphanouvong and the hills of Luang Prabang. Maybe three hundred people, squeezed into standing room and peeking from benches or the tops of cars just to be able to see... They were completely along with us for the ride. We were all amazed together.
Immigration
I have had the fortune to travel and perform a fair bit in the past year. The immigration forms gave me the realisation that I had a great luxury of self-definition.
Seems hard to believe that just five months ago I was still immersed in three years of formal dance training. That orgy of intensely self-directed sweat, angst, humblement, reshaping oneself through guidance. At the end of which I stopped writing “Student” and put down “Dancer” every time I crossed a border.
Then the last five months – The Hungry Stones. The Screw of Thought at Theatreworks. The Singapore School Project with ITI. Contact Improvisation festival KL. My capoeira batisado.The Always Sea. Randai. Play! at the ArtScience Museum. Fang Mae Khong in Laos. 2High in Brisbane.
It is odd to say this. These days, I don't think I am dancing. I am moving, a great deal, but not in the same sense that I understood this in my past few years at NAFA. I have my own work, and it is often movement but it is not necessarily dance as in the technical sense. In the rehearsed and prepared sense. In the rules of choreography sense.
I am seeking. I am drowning. I am reading and mis-reading other human beings and human bodies. Sniffing around for ambient energy and human history. I am asking questions and writing emo drivel like this and proposing that something could happen. And also I am spending a lot of time writing proposals and grant applications.
In the last month I started to write “artist” instead of “dancer”. Then I end up explaining that I don't actually paint or sculpt. It could just as well be “researcher” or “interpreter”. I still hesitate over the boxes Holiday and Business for “purpose of trip”. I am tempted to draw in another box for Art, or Life.
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
In some small way make our own
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Photo by Oranje Lwin. |
It was an incredibly special experience. For the first time I felt that contact with an unfamiliar culture and art form was so open and welcoming, and something that I could actually connect to and in some small way make my own. Our three master teachers from Institut Seni Indonesia Padang-Panjang. Pak Edmiral, Pak Halim and Pak Arif were warm and sincere as they arrived to share with us something that they confessed was deep inside them, and an integral part of the Minang culture that they treasure.
I have an increasing soft spot for folk art. At any rate, the folk art that is practised as art and not as commerce. The good stuff and other work that grows from it has a wonderful organic quality that I can't get enough of. (My own theory: The folk art of Singapore is in our food.)
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Photo courtesy of Zaidi |
Anyway, Randai. I have swollen hands.
And a yearning to visit Bukit Tinggi.
Sunday, 28 August 2011
One journey ends, and another begins.
Dear NAFA classmates, thank you for the inspiration to sum up our last three years, and look ahead to the future. Yesterday's convocation was an emotional moment for me. It was hard to look back on the way we've come - a mix of relief, achievement, joys and frustrations remembered, sadness that it's over, and most of all, gratitude.
This is what I shared with our class and guests yesterday.
_______________________________________
Good afternoon Mr. Frank Benjamin, Executive Chairman of FJ Benjamin Holdings Limited, Professor Cham Tao Soon, NAFA Board Chairman, Mr Choo Thiam Siew, NAFA President, NAFA Board members, Lecturers, Ladies & Gentlemen.
I am Chan Sze-Wei, a graduate of the Diploma in Dance. I am deeply honoured to have been invited to stand before you today, representing the Class of 2011.
Dear classmates, I am honoured to stand here among you and remember my first day at NAFA, three years and two months ago. On that day, one of my newfound classmates put it perfectly. She was happy to be here, she said, “because I am finally with my people”. Entering art school, we were finally in a space where our passion for art or dance or music or design didn’t make you an oddball or a weirdo. We were finally here, in a space together with other young people who knew that the choice to dedicate yourself to the arts was a legitimate one. And for some of us it wasn’t even a choice, but the recognition of a necessity. We knew exactly why we wanted to be here, the distances we had travelled, and the sacrifices we had made. While others among us started out simply because we didn’t know what else to do with our lives. We signed up for the first of many firsts, with little idea how this journey would change our lives.
For the purposes of this speech, I am really glad to have had the opportunity to get in touch with many friends across all the different faculties represented here today. There were stories that were celebratory and some that were bitter. Each was unique.
We are the ones who are left. We saw many others abandon this path along the way. Some couldn’t handle the mental or physical stress, some needed to support their families, or because they didn’t have the support of their families, or couldn’t muster the financial possibilities to find even $5,000 of school fees a year.
I believe that it’s normal that a number of those who come NAFA take a time-out, take longer to graduate or eventually decide that this isn’t the path for them. Why do I say this? Because I know that a life in the arts and creation is one of the loneliest and most challenging paths that we could possibly choose. Every day that we train, we practice, we create and perform is a day that we have to face ourselves and our weaknesses, and not run away. Allow me to clarify that this NAFA education is not about fun. We come here to NAFA and literally volunteer ourselves for a position where we receive criticism every day, all day, from teachers and peers and the most merciless of all, the voices in our own heads. I am not exaggerating when I say that we have known three years, some of us four, of blood, sweat, tears, and pain. Days of frustration, humiliation and craziness when we wondered if any of what we were doing or learning made sense, when we doubted we would see this course through. We learned that pride and failure were bitter pills to be swallowed day after day, followed by swallowing the advice that this was all for our own good.
But it’s not as if there is no fun at all in this arts education. It is something of a door to a funny landscape where you have to re-wire your sense of fun and find it re-connected to stress, craziness and physical and mental exhaustion. Does that sound like opening week or production week, anyone? We all know that there’s no other kind of fun we’d rather have and no other place that we would rather be.
Also on the other side of this surreal and confusing door are instructions to be different and unique, yet to conform. To learn discipline, technique and professionalism – and yet still try to hang on to a sense of who you are and what’s important to you. All these contradictions have a wonderful old-fashioned charm. It may not be the only way to become an artist. But it is a process that has allowed us to start to discover who we are, and realise potential we never imagined we had. We were given first chances to show our work to Singapore and to the world. We acquired friends and mentors for life, and lessons for life.
My message to my class today is: let’s believe in ourselves and what we have to say. The best gift that we have received in our time here was not the inspiration and praise from our mentors and colleagues. Just as valuable were the criticisms and rejections. This was probably the best preparation that our teachers could give us. Let’s face it. We live in a society that generally doesn’t understand or appreciate what we do. If we’re really lucky, art is viewed as a profitable commodity or convenient propaganda vehicle. When we’re not, we are too often brushed off with the assumption that what we do is self-indulgent, wasteful, incendiary, needlessly provocative or simply meaningless. In a culture where individuals are too often treated as political and intellectual children, a young artist has a particularly heavy burden of proof to carry.
And I am sad to say that while NAFA is a sanctuary for the arts, there were moments where I felt that we couldn’t fully escape those same elements of the real world that want art and artists to be predictable, viable and pleasing.
So it is up to us, and only us, to first believe that what we say is worth saying. And then to go ahead and say it!
Let us not be afraid. There will be little recognition and probably even less remuneration. Don’t let that stop you. Let us not be afraid to make mistakes. Not be afraid to continue to make meaning of our world. To see and remember for society what is beautiful, what is forgotten, what has no voice, what has been censored by fear and by choice. Let us speak and sing, draw and dance, play and produce what is really important to us. Let us not fear to be loved and to be hated. To provoke questions and provoke reactions. To communicate. To touch people’s hearts. To be understood and misunderstood. To surprise and to delight. To put ourselves and our work out there in its truest and most powerful form. Let us not be afraid to let our art guide us.
My dear fellow schoolmates of the Class of 2011, and now my fellow colleagues in the arts, I am proud of you and I am excited for what our future holds. Now it is time for thanks. To our families, our lecturers, and friends. The people who have loved us and supported us all this while. We really could not have done this without you. Let’s now rise and give these very special people a round of thanks and applause.
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